Losing my psycho-therapist! Eeek!

This is always a hard thing to do deal with. You become attached to your therapist if they are a good one. I have lost several over the years. Not happy about this. You have to start over and get to know each other or should I say she needs to get to know me. They usually don’t share themselves unless there is a comparison that might help. A he is not out of the picture, but I don’t know if they have any he’s there other than the owner and I was not happy with him.

First, they move the office further away which didn’t bother me at first since I was doing teleconferences and so it didn’t matter. Now they are making me drive the 45 minutes one way and I can’t climb the stairs so they have to have an empty downstairs room for us to use. Hopefully, they bring back teleconferencing and hopefully I will find a therapist I can deal with.

Tessa – 

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

Author of a book, a work in progress on the blog, https://tessacandoit.com/government-property-a-memoir-as-a-military-wife/

Highlighted chapters are done and ready to be read.

My cat!

She has been listed as a therapy cat,

 

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

-Author of Articles, Stories and Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.com

Snow, ice and loss of electricity…

I have broken 4 of the 10 commandments (taken loosely)

Obviously there are 10 comments since that is what they are called. I used to think I was perfect. Found out I wasn’t quite as perfect as I thought I was. LOL! Anywhere here is the picture of my now ex-husband when we were 17.

I learned the commandments in church, but then as most humans I break some of them.

3. Taking the Lord’s name in vain is something I am still working on trying to quit using.

8. You shall not steal. I don’t call the incident stealing. I knew my husband was going to come out better in the divorce. I started squirreling money away before the divorce. And yes because we couldn’t afford attorneys we did it our selves at a divorce clinic. You give them the info, the court costs and they type up the proper documents. He did have to go get the marriage license. We never got it.

7. The big one is adultery to me. It is not exactly what I wanted, but I didn’t want my husband. He repulsed me due to circumstances I have mentioned on here before. HOWEVER, I have told the story several times. He was not supposed to touch me and if he did, I cringed and pulled away. Cruel, I know. What he did to me was cruel too.

Anyhow I decided I wanted another man and I wasn’t going to commit adultery in that way. I didn’t care if he wanted a divorce, I told him what I was going to do and he had the same rights. Open marriage, agreed upon. He wanted wife swapping and I wanted just one guy to have a relationship with. I did both to keep him happy enough and found a guy for myself who of course was married. I didn’t consider myself an adulterer since we both agreed. The ex-hubby found  the love of his life (I thanked her for taking him off my hands.) I had a long relationship, but he was married.  18 years of adultery. gone now. He showed his real colors at the end. I still struggle with this. I don’t love the ex-hubby, but think of the happy times (with the babies) and I think of the adulterer still. Discuss it a lot in therapy. I guess it is a case of if you don’t want something, then you turn around and want it once it is gone.

10. Do not covet thy neighbor’s spouse, car, house etc. I covet a lot of things I can’t have.

 

Change in Anti-depressants

Yesterday I was started on a new anti-depressant, Trintellix, formerly called Brintellix. I have had good reviews of it and maybe it is all in my head (pun intended), but I feel different this morning. More hopeful you could say.

I have also agreed to weekly therapy for a while and to bring my son in for a session. Our lives are intertwined.

 

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate For Mental And Invisible Illnesses

-Author Of Articles, Stories And Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.com

Is Chiropractic Care Helpful for Fibromyalgia Pain?

Studies are inconclusive as to whether chiropractic adjustments help Fibromyalgia. I have been getting adjusted for at least 5 years now, maybe 6. There is no way for me to say for sure that the adjustments are working for the Fibromyalgia, but since I have spinal pain and herniated discs I do know that it is helping something. The only way to tell for sure is to quit getting adjusted. He also worked on my arm (couldn’t lift it over my head) due to the car accident. That was a combination of adjustments and physical therapy done in his office under his care.

Read the full article in Healthiculture.

Teresa (Tessa) Dean Smeigh

-Advocate For Mental And Invisible Illnesses

-Author Of Articles, Stories And Poems

http://www.tessacandoit.com

http://www.finallyawriter.com

Psycho-therapy Today

Before I start I want to remind everyone that I, too, suffer from Bipolar and I have chosen to choose a more positive influence in my life through Jesus Christ. Do I still suffer, of course, I do. He creates miracles, but that doesn’t mean he will wipe my life into all smooth sailing. For his own reasoning he has decided that I am to suffer with Bipolar, other mental health disorders and quite a few chronic pain issues.

Do I blame him for my suffering. I used to. So much so that I gave up my beliefs for 40 years. Now I have decided to follow his lead and trust his plans for my life. I don’t know exactly what they are, but I think they have to do with helping those that suffer with any disorder or disease.

I do this as I have understood his wishes to be. That may change over time. I am fairly stable now. I also monitor my own meds and have a few to play with to change my moods as necessary.

My therapist is proud of me. Of who I am becoming and what I am doing to help others  when I can. I have my negative days, but I have more positive ones now and I am much happier with my life.

I am writing and getting published. That has always been a dream. I didn’t think it would be about bipolar, but that is just the beginning. My writing blog is full of new stuff. 6 articles are currently published. Posted stuff on other blogs. Been interviewed by a few posters as well.

I have one book started and one serialized story on the other blog that just may make a book eventually with work. Now it is just working off prompts. There are some time line issues.

I am willing to talk to anyone who wants or needs to talk and to pray for anyone who wants or needs prayers. I am thinking of creating a prayer bowl. Although I am not sure exactly how that works yet. I know my parents kept one and I believe they prayed for everyone in there at once and were constantly receiving calls to add others to the bowl. My mom is no longer with us, but dad might remember.

Tessa

Medication Appointment Today – A Little Hypo-manic

I had my appointment with the APN nurse (Psychopharmacologist) and her intern. She knew right away I was a little hypo manic. We discussed what happened and how I handled it. I did good. She is going to trust me to self-medicate with the provision that I let her know if I run into any problems and I am pretty good at notifying her when I can. This was unusual this time. So I have my mood stabilizer increased to 8 mg in case I need to bring down a manic episode, staying at six mg normally and leaving the Cymbalta at 60, 120 mg if depressed.

And she can write a note when I need it for the cat to be a therapy animal when the time comes. Which was a big worry.

I find myself wishing for my own apartment now. My father yelling at me for nothing because he heard wrong or I thought differently then what he said is getting on my nerves. It is not helping at all.

My email is out of control. I have at least 4000. I have to unfollow the people that are not interacting with me. I don’t have time for all those blogs if we are not interacting. Only ones staying are the ones I do like to read even if no contact with blogger. I follow everybody and their brother and sister. LOL!

I wonder if my mania shows through in my writing? Interesting thought.

Today is second day of bad Fibro pain. I think it is linked to my mania. Oh and I learned something today. I had heard it before, but dismissed it kind of. They are coming to believe that inflammation leads to depression and that Aspirin might soon be used as an anti-depressant. I take 325 mg of Aspirin every day as a blood thinner. I have for over 6 months.

Tessa

 

 

Therapy today!

My therapist is impressed at my increase in mood stabilization since last week and that I was the one who made the decision. She says I am in a much better mood.

I like being able to adjust my medications for the bipolar myself. I can keep myself controlled and not have to wait for the med nurse to make a decision and possibly run out of meds. I know my body. Hope she agrees to let me continue to control them. She will know what I am on since I can’t write them and if something changes majorly I will keep her advised.

That appointment is on the 12th. So we will see what she says.

Tessa

Thursday Therapy – a little late

I was busy trying to learn how to read WP on the reader. Doing better now. Plus still learning Windows 10. I still also have stuff to load on here.

I also had to write a blog post for IBPF. I hope she likes this one.

Therapy went well. I gave her my journal and it seems to help. She will read it and we will discuss it next session. This way she will have questions to discuss. We also discussed something that really bothered me.

Tessa