Changing pain meds – JusJoJan #31

January 31, 2019 #JusJoJan Wrapup

I have been on Percocets, high dose and not much relief.

After talking to my pain management doctor we have decided to try Morphine which is supposed to be stronger. I haven’t started yet so I don’t know for sure, but hope to start tomorrow. There was an issue with the dose (smallest) not being available. After much debate from the doctor and asking me if I would be willing to cut the next dose up in half we are going to hopefully have it for tomorrow.

This is also an experiment as supposedly I was allergic to Morphine according to the ER. I told the dr and she said the IV brands are much stronger and they probably overdosed me to begin with which she did as she was going to help me for the pain in the next few hours. I hope this works as I didn’t like being allergic to the Morphine. Ambulances can only use Morphine around here and if I were to be unconscious Morphine is the pain reliever they use. Granted I wouldn’t feel it most likely if I were unconscious.

Tessa –

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

JusJoJan – Sunday – January 27th

JusJoJan January 27th

I haven’t been reading posts so January is almost gone. I won’t be going back and trying to catch up.

Life is difficult with dad’s stroke and dementia. I had no idea what a stroke does to you. He is DNR (do not resuscitate). I wasn’t happy years ago when my parents told me their desire for this, but they legally made up living wills. When my mom passed 5 years ago I began to understand the sense it made. My mom suddenly was not responding. Even with the DNR it took about 10 days for her to finally pass. No one wanted to see her like that for who knows how long not to mention the immense expense that could arise. I am fine with my dad’s DNR. He is suffering right now and he wants to go and if assisted suicide was legal he would be all for it. Although now he is not really of sound mine most of the time so it wouldn’t be allowed anyhow I am sure. He is living in a long term care center which is just a fancy name for nursing home. He is mad at us a lot of the time because we have to sell his assets to pay for his care. This isn’t easy anyhow as his house is old, outdated and simply needs to be completely re-made over and there is an expensive retaining wall in the back yard fally down which will run from $10,000 to $20,000 to fix. We are not fixing the house up because the government is going to get whatever money we make over the reverse mortgage lien. We are waiting for Medicaid to kick in as it costs us $10,000 a month to keep him there and we, well he, is paying for that.

Tessa –

Advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also a devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.com (this blog contains my old work mostly although occasionally I do add something new here), new work is mainly on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

#JusJoJan Daily Prompt – January 23rd, 2018

Your prompt for January 23rd, 2018, brought to you by the kind, considerate, and eloquently snarky Supernatural Snark, is “Colour.” Use it any way you’d like in your post. And make sure you visit Super at her blog, “Supernatural Snark” to read her post and say hi! Here’s her link:  https://supernaturalsnark.wordpress.com/

Colour is missing in winter. What color is here is lifeless and gives no hope that spring and summer that are full of colour will rejoin us again. The only joy I get out of Winter is unused, fresh snow in a beautiful landscape. There the lack of colour is overridden by the landscape, fresh and pure.

Tessa – advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.wordpress.com (this blog contains my old work), new work is on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

 

#JusJoJan Daily Prompt – January 22nd, 2018

Your prompt for January 22nd, 2018, brought to you by the friendly and nautically inclined Capt Jill, is “Liberty.” Use it any way you’d like in your post. And make sure you visit Jill at her blog, “Capt Jills Journeys” to read her post and say hi! Here’s her link:  https://captjillsjourneys.wordpress.com/

After feeling like I was at war with my body, today I got the call of Liberty. The dr that made all that fuss, made it over nothing most likely. He made me have to go to a gastroenterologist  because he read my liver results as if I were going to die very soon. The gastroenterologist thought he was crazy for making all that fuss. He is going to do some extra blood work and an ultrasound just to be certain, but he doesn’t expect it to be anything serious. I don’t have to stop anymore meds especially the percocets and I can have my epidural of my lumbar spine as planned. Liberty!!!

Tessa – advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.wordpress.com (this blog contains my old work), new work is on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

 

#JusJoJan 2018, the 18th – Revolt

Your prompt for January 18th, 2018, brought to you by the lovely Sandra, is “Revolt.” Use it any way you’d like in your post. And make sure you visit Sandra at her blog, “What Sandra Thinks” to read her post and say hi! Here’s her link:  https://whatsandrathinks.com/

Revolt, how revolting. Writing about revolt can be quite revolting in its telling. I think of revolting as disgusting. Probably the most revolting thing would be vomiting. I can’t handle it and it makes me want to join in. I always had to get my husband when one of the children vomited and heaven forbid if he wasn’t there.

Another revolting thing was maggots. Even on tv.

Tessa – advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.wordpress.com (this blog contains my old work), new work is on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

 

#JusJoJan Daily Prompt – January 16th, 2018

Your prompt for January 16th, 2018, brought to you by the multi-talented Cheryl, is “Contemplation.” Use it any way you’d like in your post. And make sure you visit Cheryl at her blog, “The Bag Lady” to read her post and say hi! Here’s her link:  https://rugby843.blog/

I spend a lot of time contemplating things I shouldn’t be. Some things are best not contemplated. Things like my drs declaration that my liver is in a life-threatening condition. I can’t stop thinking about it. I am just in the first step, an abnormal live test. From my research there is a lot it could be and it might not be anything except I might have to stop all pain medication. I am in so much pain while taking the meds I can’t imagine what it would be like without them. And then there is the big “C” (cancer) and and a lot inbetween. I don’t drink so that should eliminate those possibilities. I was diagnosed probably close to 10 years ago with a fatty liver. I know all this contemplating over something I have no control over at this point is pointless. I have an appt with the gastroenterologist on Feb 6. There the journey will begin.

Tessa – advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.wordpress.com (this blog contains my old work), new work is on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

 

#JusJoJan Daily Prompt – January 14th, 2018

Your prompt for January 14th, 2018, brought to you by a new-to-me blogger, Itinerary Planner, is “Ultimatum.” Use it any way you’d like in your post. And make sure you visit Itinerary Planner at her blog, “Travel Itineraries: Travel the World for Less” (sounds good to me!) to read her post and say hi! Here’s her link:  https://traveltinerary.com/

 

I detest ultimatums. When I was in Kindergarten we had to drink our milk or (here comes the ultimatum) we could not go out at recess.

Now everyone in my class, but me drank their milk and went outside everyday. One teacher of course had to stay with me. Everyday I refused to drink the milk and everyday the teacher and I sat inside. Didn’t bother me I am not an outdoors person and milk makes me sick to my stomach.

They finally contacted my mother about my not drinking the milk and keeping a teacher inside with me. My mother knew I didn’t drink milk (even as an infant) and after wondering about the stupidity of the teachers she finally told them I was allergic to it. From that point on everyone was told that I was allergic to milk to preclude them from starting another situation like that. I DO NOT DRINK MILK!

The only way I will drink milk is if half the container is chocolate. Just smelling milk makes me want to puke.

Tessa – advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.wordpress.com (this blog contains my old work), new work is on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

 

The Friday Reminder for #SoCS & #JusJoJan Daily Prompt, Jan. 13th, 2018

Your prompt for #JusJoJan and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is as follows: read closely. When you’re ready to sit down and write your post, look to the publication (book, newspaper, permission slip from your kid’s teacher, whatever you find) closest to you, and base your post on the sixth, seventh, and eighth word from the beginning of the page. Enjoy!

Well the 3 words just happened to be on my dr’s notes and instructions. “Advocare DelGiorno Endocrinology.” I already got my words out on this dr visit for Friday’s JusJoJan so I haven’t much to say. I did notate his new instructions and put it in my purse for when I am out.

Tessa – advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.wordpress.com (this blog contains my old work), new work is on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

 

#JusJoJan Daily Prompt – January 12th, 2018

Your prompt for January 12th, 2018, brought to you by Fandango, is “Aggravation.” (EDIT: I screwed up–the word is “Aggravate”! Apologies to Fandango and anyone who has already written their post.) Use it any way you’d like in your post. And make sure you visit Fandango at his blog, “This, That, and the Other” to read his post and say hi! Here’s Fandango’s blog: https://fivedotoh.wordpress.com/

Right now I am aggravated by my doctor. He got my bloodwork this morning and then blurted out that the results on my liver were life-threatening. My heart just about stopped, all I could utter was “WHAT!” He realized too late that he shouldn’t have said that and especially the way he said it.

He didn’t mean I was just going to drop dead right there, but the results were undetermined as to cause and that they could be life-threatening if they were determined to be cancer for one thing. Hours later and I still cry every time I have to talk about it or permit it to enter my mind.

Chances are it is nothing. I have had issues with my liver before and it was nothing. Too much NSAIDS could be a cause and I take an NSAID for arthritis and now percocets (also mentioned as a possibility) are taken every 6 hours for months now.

I contacted the rheumatologist and asked about my arthritis medication. I need more and with the liver reading he won’t give them to me. He told me to stop taking them for 2 – 3 weeks and retest. Monday I will try to get in to see the gastroenterologist as he was the dr I was referred to.

Those of you who know me, know that my medical health both mental and physical is not good and this is just one more thing to pile on. My anxiety is rising and that is not helping my diabetes.

My diabetes is completely out of control. He just changed my insulin so that it is based on the actual carbs I eat.

Tessa – advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.wordpress.com (this blog contains my old work), new work is on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com

 

#JusJoJan Daily Prompt – January 11th, 2018

Your prompt for January 11th, 2018, brought to you by the very wordy Jim Adams, is “Humiliate.” Use it any way you’d like in your post. And make sure you visit Jim at his blog, “A Unique Title for Me” to read his post and say hi! Here’s his link:  https://jimadamsauthordotcom.wordpress.com/

When I think of humiliate I think of the time I was first pregnant and had made a summer maternity top to wear swimming. i didn’t realize that the elastic would stretch in the water and when the wave hit me, I came up and my top went down and there was one of our male friends.

I ducked back down searching for the top of the top so I could pull it up, but the waves in the ocean were hindering me. Now that is humiliation.

Tessa – advocate for mental health and invisible illnesses, also devout Christian

Author – http://www.finallyawriter.wordpress.com (this blog contains my old work), new work is on this blog http://www.tessacandoit.com