The bloody night light again!

I had just turned it off about a week or so ago. I thought I would alright as I haven’t had a bad dream in months. Not the really bad ones where they seem ridiculous, but real. Well I fell asleep around 9 PM and just before I did I turned my light back on. Not really a night light and lights up the whole room with a nice glow. Well I just had the worst nightmare and it involved my dad going crazy and we finally had to call the ambulance on him and I was scared and upset and it seemed so real. The light helped a little because I didn’t feel quite so alone, but the dream was almost my undoing tonight.

He is all I have left of my parents and the thought of losing him is downright scary. I have my kids, but he is my parent. I’ve already lost one and I am not ready to lose the second one. The emotion is running high and tears are running down my face as I write this. 

I already went downstairs to make sure that he is alright and that it was indeed a dream. I told him about it and we laughed, but it wasn’t funny. The dog licked me over trying to help me feel better. 

I know he is alright, but I am having an anxiety attack right now. In fact I can take my Klonopin and see if that calms me down.

Well back to lights on again.

Tessa

17 negative stereotypes about bipolar disorder

This is a great article. It needs to be passed on.

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The most frequently used search terms that usher visitors to my blog are: bipolar disorder stereotypes, bipolar stereotypes, negative stereotypes of bipolar disorder, stereotypes about bipolar disorder, negative stereotypes of bipolar, stereotypes of bipolar disorder – and they occur every. single. day. I googled ‘bipolar stereotypes’ and lo and behold, my most visited post ranked first. It’s time to expand on that ole thing. Stereotypes breed stigma, which can have terrible (and in some cases even terminal) consequences. Everything gets an ism, dear reader, and the applicable one here is ableism.

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Hi, My Name is Tessa

The main purpose of my blog is to become an advocate for invisible Illnesses.

This is part of the Blogging 101 initial assignment of introducing ourselves.

This is partly journal and articles showing that I am an Advocate to Invisible Illnesses. There are so many disorders out there where the patient doesn’t get any support.

Tessa

Sunday and Veggies and Fruit…

I was up all last night, even with my sleeping pills, and fell asleep around 9 AM. Cat napped and then my son woke me at 3:30 to go grocery shopping.

Meat is awful expensive and he won’t eat the meat from Walmart. Not the best in the world, but we pay more for better meat at the grocery store. I restocked the veggie drawer with cucumbers and green bell peppers and bought a quarter or so of watermelon. I would have bought the cut up ones, but it cost 2 or 3 dollars more for less so I bought a piece that I have to cut up. Whole one would have been better, but no room in the fridge for that. I hate a cucumber for night time snack. Tomorrow we cook and have meat and I will eat a pepper with it.

Now it is technically Monday, July 6th. My sleeping is so messed up it isn’t funny. I just took my Sunday night pills and hope to fall asleep earlier tonight.

I have a birthday party coming up in less than 2 weeks now. It is a pool party for my grandson. I get so nervous going to things like that. My dad is coming with me. Not sure about my son he always has better things to do than family get togethers. 

I have a craving for something sweet. Bad cravings because it isn’t for Broccoli. One veggie I won’t eat for sure.

Tessa